Fibro- My- What?

Hello my Fit For Fighting Fibro (F4) Tribe!!! Happy 2021! If you’re reading this you survived the craziness of 2020 and are surviving the pandemic.

It’s been 1571 days since February 10, 2017 the day my life drastically changed. 1571 days of guessing what pain I will have that day or that moment. 1571 days of not trusting this body I am in. I can hear “help me I’m stuck” or “I have fibro and I can’t get up”. If you read these and laughed you are my people!!! If you didn’t, please laugh it’s ok. I have learned to laugh and find something positive in every single day!

It has been so long since I’ve posted but I decided to post during this month because it’s Fibromyalgia Awareness Month. With that because I have Fibro and am not just posting about it, it has taken me all month for me to have time, my hands and fingers to work and no brain fog all at the same time. Today is the last day so here we go.

What is Fibromyalgia? Fibromyalgia is said to be “widespread pain” and is diagnosed by 18 trigger points and ruling out other illnesses.

Fibro is often masked or related to other conditions such as Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Osteoarthritis. Doctors I have seen have said Fibromyalgia is based in the Central Nervous System (CNS).

I just googled it to make sure and wait for it……. google says the same thing. Guess all those copays were worth it. Well, maybe not. I mean they haven’t helped me. I guess they tried. Some of them anyway. Some of them were absolute whack jobs who I feel like got their degrees online. Also, telling a patient who is a 12 on a 10 pain schedule that the pain is not real and in their heads IS NOT OK!!! I digress. The CNS the part of the nervous system that contains the brain and the spinal cord. The brain sends and receives info to the body through the spinal cord. I have been told my CNS is out of whack. Really the doctor used those exact words. He then explained it as my body is sending out pain signals that aren’t really there to places where it should not go (arms, fingers, random part of leg, middle part of face, bottom of feet). Riddle me that! That is my FIBRO!! That is the answer to that riddle. Kind of sucks huh? Try having it.

Not only all of that but Fibro is called an invisible illness because you can’t actually see the problematic areas. But if you could see it here is what some areas would look like:

Update on life: I am 35 almost 36. The company I opened in June 2019 survived the pandemic and is doing well. I have learned so much being an entrepreneur and learn new things daily about: staffing (finding reliable people is so hard), billing (blah), accounting, social media presence, delegating and doing the job. It is truly a never-ending job. I published my first book. The title is “Maybe I Can Too” it explores the life of a young brownskin girl who is learning that hairstyles don’t limit the type of job you are capable of while watching her beautiful brownskin neighbor and being supported by her best friends. It is a story that is near and dear to my heart. Outside of experiencing a lot of the situations in the story, the story is a direct correlation to the world we live in today. From my point of view, often times women of color are found “qualified” or “less than qualified” based on our hair, the color of our skin or the way we speak. How wrong is that!! I used a ! instead of a ? because I am not asking, I know it is wrong. Extremely immeasurably wrong. If you are still reading I would assume I am preaching to the choir considering you obviously know I am a Black, brownskin, pro black (not anti anyone else) woman. If you are interested in my book please go to www.shanadawnbooks.com.

My family and friends are great!!!

I have come to a place in my life where I am having to let go. It seems in every area of my life I am having to relinquish control to feel better. While I have never considered myself a control freak I am realizing some of the traumatic experiences of life have left me desiring that control. Why? Because if I hold on to it, it doesn’t hurt. If I control the moving parts I can control the parts that hurt me. I can control the parts of me that get hurt. Make sense? Let’s dive in just a little.

My Business:

As some of you know I started my own company in June of 2019!! Despite the pandemic we are still going strong! I am so thankful for that!! My business and I have been managing a pretty dense caseload under some new policies in the middle of a pandemic, but, are navigating through them. This year has been very different from the rest. I have been challenged in many ways but I have grown so much as a employer. Whew!! Employing people is a hard job!! Finding people who care, can do the job, and have a heart and will to do the job is an even harder job. It seems not many people are looking for work these days. I have learned that not everyone has a good work ethic and knows how to respect an employer. Who knew? I sure didn’t. I digress. Despite the many many mountains we have climbed this year I do believe we handled them with grace and above all else we survived and are heading into our 3rd year in business. Three years where I have run a company that is helping kids. Three years of doing exactly what I love. Three years of knowing that I can help change the trajectory of a child’s future. Praise the Lord!!!

My Diet:

I am still vegetarian. I am working with a doctor to try and get my weight under control to see if it will help with the fibro. He recently put me on fish and veggies. Salmon and Tilapia to be exact. I hated it!!! Absolutely positively hated it! The smell was bad, the taste was bad and I begin to get nauseous at the sight of fish so I am back to not eating it. I am trying tofu for the first time. So if anyone has any great tofu recipes please let me know.

My body: In November I had plantar fasciitis symptoms in my left foot. I felt like it was from Fibro but am not sure. I think I blame everything on Fibro. I have not taught a fitness class since then. Wow I am just realizing it has been that long. No wonder my body is tight!! I am planning to start back teaching kids zumba this summer. EEEK I am so nervous. I have so much anxiety with making plans now because I don’t feel like I can depend on my body. So having to make plans straight up scares me. I have been erroring on the side of not making any because I dont want to let others down if I dont come. Oh no, I am becoming a hermit!!!! I’m a cute one but stilI… I have been having more painful days lately. It is also Spring and we have had quite a few rainy days. Some of you may feel like we haven’t but my body responds to a shift in the barometric pressure. That means whether it rains for 30 min or all day, my body feels the shift. All the rain mixed with the increase work load, my body has just been out of whack!!

Pool Therapy: I was down graded by my rheumatologist to the nurse practitioner. Let me tell you, that was the best thing that cold have happened. She is great! She listens. She listens. I could stop there but she also listens to understand and tries to actually help in a way the patient wants and not just from the text book. She gave me a prescription to pool therapy. It is great!!! I have been to pool therapy before and did find some relief this is completely different. I absolutely love it. I mean yall know how cheap I am, well insurance doesn’t cover this so I pay out of pocket twice a month to go. If I could go more I would. It sucks that health insurance doesn’t see a need for therapy outside of land. Pool therapy actually allows me to remember a body without pain. It’s nice. It’s definitely a feeling I want to have more often. I have learned many stretches and names of the body parts that are jacked how to start helping them. She says one of my hips is “stuck” and my sacrum is tilted, and that I hold my body. We talk a lot about me “letting go” and how much work I have to do to get there. It is a constant battle. Who knew letting go was so hard.

Chiropractor: I recently went to the chiropractor and on their board was “sacrum” and on their new patient sheet was “fibromyalgia” and they look like me (not a deal breaker if they dont but the fact that they do is AMAZING). They confirmed and could see everything my pool therapist said. They say when the spinal cord is out of whack then the entire body is. I definitely can’t argue with that 🤷🏾‍♀️. I have an actual appointment this week and I am very excited about it. I feel like this is another step to me having more good days!!!!

Symptoms: So as I said earlier I’ve been on the struggle bus. Most recently the biggest issue has been fatigue and lower back pain. I have only had 2-3 really really bad days where I wanted to go to the hospital and just lay there until they fixed me. I know from previous experience that they will do nothing but when my pain is at that level I am hopeful that they will try or at least give me something strong to make it bearable. My hands and fingers have been hurting also. It hurts to move them. So I am trying to be more conscious of how I use my energy and how tightly I hold things like the steering wheel and my phone. Practicing that “let go” or “release the hold” method. I try to preserve my energy and more complex body movements for work. Which means I am not working out as much as I would like to. I typically get off work and go to bed. On most days the pain rotates between my: upper and lower back, sacrum, butt muscles, hips, wrists, face, shoulders and feet. I have had very few allodynia (skin pain) days. With today being a holiday and me up and moving since 6am, working out and cooking I am worn out. The past few days my back has been burning. Tonight I am feeling a little nauseated. I get that way when my pain levels jump up.

Before I go, if you have prayer request please let me know because God is still God and He is still good!!! I have not been healed yet but my healing is absolutely coming! I wholeheartedly believe that.

I will keep you all updated on everything above and I encourage you to release things in your life that don’t serve you. Find the positive in every situation because there is one.

Peace, Love and Pain free days.